


be still, soul of mine

by sarahshelena



Series: orphan black with dæmons [9]
Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe - Daemons, Aromantic, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Study, Daemons, Disturbing Themes, In Character, Medical Examination, Medical Procedures, Missing Scenes, Non Consensual Daemon Touching, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Same-Sex Daemons, Series, Slow To Update, Time Skips, Torture, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-05-11
Packaged: 2018-09-27 22:14:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10053770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarahshelena/pseuds/sarahshelena
Summary: dæmon au ~ following rachel's recovery and subsequent imprisonment in series three





	1. waking up

**Author's Note:**

  * For [villettes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/villettes/gifts), [MaryAnnett](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaryAnnett/gifts).



> dæmon AU (based on the 'his dark materials' book universe in which people's souls live outside their bodies in the form of an animal that reflects their human's personality.)
> 
> same-sex dæmons are rare, but just to make this AU a little different, and to signify the rarity of clones, all genetic identicals have a dæmon the same gender as the one they themselves were assigned at birth. to simplify: the leda clones have female dæmons and the castor clones have male dæmons. 
> 
> **STORYLINE INFO:**
> 
> I had no idea where I was going with this series when I first started it (which remains true of absolutely everything I post) but it has a slight divergence from canon (some non-canon relationships)
> 
> this fic shows the progression of both rachel's and her dæmon's characters in the third season of the show. I am hoping to extend it to include season four, and, who knows, perhaps even further.
> 
> * * *
> 
> **DÆMON FORMS**
> 
> [rachel's dæmon](https://sarahshelena.tumblr.com/post/159039974698/2-of-o-b-w-i-t-h-d-%C3%A6-m-o-n-s-by-sarahshelena) kallista is a mountain lion, and she is shown [here](https://sarahshelena.tumblr.com/tagged/mountain-lion)
> 
> [delphine's dæmon](https://sarahshelena.tumblr.com/post/159049907743/5-of-o-b-w-i-t-h-d-%C3%A6-m-o-n-s-by) is a cascade fox named cheiron, shown [here](https://sarahshelena.tumblr.com/tagged/cheiron)
> 
> (all photos belong to their respective owners)
> 
>  
> 
> _whenever a character appears and their dæmon is mentioned, I will tell you what exact form it takes, its name, if relevant, and include links to hd images for reference if possible._
> 
>  
> 
> enjoy!

  
_“I don't deserve a soul, yet I still have one. I know because it hurts.”_

― Douglas Coupland, _‘The Gum Thief’_

* * *

The penlight flashed and Rachel woke, disoriented and confused. Kallista awoke on the floor, weakened. She and Rachel shared many things, and although Kallista was physically fine, she was linked to Rachel mentally and her woman’s brain injury had affected her, too.

Rachel recognised the voice before she recognised the face. Delphine’s features came into focus despite the light burned into the retina of Rachel's eye. 

“Hello, Rachel.” 

Rachel’s eye widened in recognition. 

She could only see with one eye, she realised. The memory of Sarah shooting something at her bloomed in her mind, along with the recollection of the pain. Where her eye once was, hurt, a dull, pounding ache. She couldn't even lift her head, the painkillers making her feel foggy. 

“I warned you this was personal.” 

Delphine was bent over Rachel, her hair no longer curly, but straight and sleek, her lips pressed together in a tight smirk. Delphine glared down at Rachel in the hospital bed, with Cheiron perched on the edge, his tail held out straight behind him. Delphine's jaw was clenched as she stared Rachel down. 

“What day is it?” her voice sharp, Delphine bombarded Rachel with questions, “What's my name?” 

Rachel fought to form words, only managing mumbles and stutters. Kallista stood unsteadily by the bed, restless and fearful. 

“Come on, what?” Delphine was becoming impatient. She leant over Rachel, who was spitting out a half-formed sentence. She couldn't see Kallista, and was beginning to panic. 

“What- what happened to my-” 

_Dæmon. Kallista._

“K- corncob.” 

“Come on, you can do better than that,” Delphine hissed, and placed her thumb over the gauze that covered Rachel's empty eye socket — and pressed down. 

A violent wave of nausea accompanied the overwhelming agony of torture, and Rachel retched and gasped. Kallista fell heavily, clawing at the floor, defenceless and maddened with pain. 

“What's my name?” Delphine breathed, wrenching Rachel's arm away as the clone attempted to break her grip. 

“S-stop! Delphine!” Rachel spluttered, and a wide smile broke out over the former monitor’s face as she lessened the pressure. 

“There!” she beamed beatifically, “There we go!” 

Rachel watched her, terrified. Kallista stood shakily and tried to jump up onto the bed to protect her, but Delphine reached over Rachel and shoved the weakened cougar-dæmon to the floor with her bare hand. 

Rachel was seized with a bout of violent retching at the sensation of someone touching Kallista. As her daemon writhed on the floor in revulsion, shuddering and unable to comfort her, Rachel sobbed at the feeling of being violated. She let her right arm drop down by the side of the bed and Kallista reached out and put her heavy paw into Rachel's palm, both trembling. Needle-sharp claws bit into Rachel's skin, but still she clung to her dæmon. 

“There you go. Good girl,” Delphine looked over Rachel, telling her in an undertone, “Only, I’m you now, you understand that? I’m you. And I will erase you completely, Rachel… unless you tell me what you're planning with Ferdinand.” 

_Ferdinand. Not. Supposed. To. Know._

“Ferdinand.” 

“Yes. What have you got going on with him?” Delphine leant in closer, “And don't lie, because I saw it.” 

“You. You saw? _You saw?”_

“Come on.” Delphine prompted. 

Rachel blurted out, “Helsinki.” 

Awareness bloomed blackly in Delphine’s eyes — they narrowed darkly and Rachel quailed in fear, stammering nonsense. 

“Oh… you _wicked_ sister.” Delphine bared her teeth, “You're not supposed to know about that. Now, what else do you know, hm?” she reached out to Rachel's face again, “You gonna talk to me?” 

“Stop!” Kallista cried out, her voice a harsh screech. 

Delphine pressed down, and Rachel whimpered in pain, helpless. Kallista screamed, tearing at the trailing bedsheets in her attempt to reach her woman. 

_“You gonna talk to me?”_


	2. recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> set in s3 episode 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm working at this faster than I expected, but this fic is not going to be anywhere near as long nor as intense as the previous fic was. apologies, but:
> 
> s3 hardly shows rachel at all and so there's little I can do to fill it out. according to my own customs I may add more chapters to fill in episodes that she does not feature in *shakes fist at the writers* 
> 
> but right now, I'm just looking to cover s3 so I can get my hands on the delectably victorious and devious s4 rachel
> 
> and I'm dying to write charlotte and rudy and susan I have been for ages
> 
> **DÆMON FORMS**
> 
> nealon's dæmon is a tuatara shown [here](http://sarahshelena.tumblr.com/tagged/tuatara), a lizard native to new zealand and existing since the time of dinosaurs, this reptile actually has a third eye on top of its head! more on that may come :)
> 
> without further ado, chapter two!

  
_“Begin to see yourself as a soul with a body rather than a body with a soul.”_

— Wayne Dyer

* * *

Every time the door to her room opened, Rachel would freeze and Kallista would rise from beside her protectively. Rachel could only lift her arms and hold the lightest of objects. It was the strangest and most frightening thing to not have control over her own body, and Kallista was now constantly on edge, unnerved by their imprisonment and Delphine's assault on them the other day.

Hearing the door creak open, Kallista opened her mouth to bare her teeth, but Nealon entered, his dæmon resting on his shoulder. She was in the form of a tuatara, a ghostly pale green lizard, almost a metre in length, her long tail draped over his shoulder and trailing down his back. She had a small, almost unnoticeable crest running from the crown of her head all the way down her spine to the tip of her tail. Her scales were a mixture of pale green, white and grey. She wasn't exactly pretty, but she was something indeed. She caught your eye, though you knew not what for. 

“Doctor Nealon,” Rachel gritted out, “This is…” she fought the confusion that clouded her thoughts, “...unexpected.” 

“Rachel, it's time to begin your therapy,” Nealon stood over her, smiling unpleasantly, a burly orderly behind him. 

“Therapy?” Rachel repeated, “What-” 

“Would you prefer to sit during it? It should help keep you alert, and bedsores aren't at all enjoyable, I'm told.” 

Rachel clenched her teeth together, hating him —but nodded. She needed to get her strength back as soon as she could, and lying in a hospital bed wasn’t the way to do it. 

She was unceremoniously wrestled into a wheelchair, her limbs jerking and joints screaming from disuse. Kallista snarled at the aide’s baboon dæmon as it tried to help her stand and stepped off the bed herself, shakily. She hadn't left Rachel’s side since Delphine visited the other day. She was still snappish and unnerved by the traumatic experience and sat as closely to Rachel as she could, placing her head in her woman's lap to comfort her. 

Nealon dismissed the aide and sat himself on the bed, an iPad in his lap, with a brightly colored brain scan up on the screen. Rachel peered at it interestedly until he covered it with his stack of cards. His dæmon picked her way down his arm, very lightly despite her size, and crawled onto the sheets of the bed, standing stoically and watching the screen of the iPad with her black eyes, her gaze flickering to Kallista every now and then. 

Nealon shuffled the cards lazily before holding one up, his bloodhound eyes adorned by thick caterpillar eyebrows that were raised in anticipation of her answer. 

Rachel’s lips moved soundlessly, trying to frame the word of the silhouetted picture. She tried to pinpoint it, her fingers fluttering as her mind tried to catch up. 

“Bi- bird.” 

Nealon turned and placed the card facedown on the bed where his lizard daemon straightened it, her beady eyes fixed on their patient. He held up another and Rachel took a breath, “Uhm… star.” 

Nealon handed the card to his dæmon, the tuatara placing it neatly atop the first. 

The next card shown to her was frustrating. She knew it, she _knew_ the word, she knew what it was, but as hard as she tried, she couldn't put a word to it. 

“Knife,” she blurted out, not confident with her answer. 

“Close,” Nealon put it away, “Key.” 

Rachel’s eye twitched in anger at the humiliation of it all. She'd had people bathe her and undress her, she couldn't even hold herself up in the wheelchair, and now she couldn't even put words to bloody pictures. 

Nealon, seeing her discomfort and entirely dismissing her rage, said comfortingly, “Your aphasia’s improving already, and so are your motor skills,” as she looked away from him down to her lap to stroke Kallista’s head with one shaking hand, he went on despite her ignoring him, “...with the help of art and physiotherapy.” 

_More touching._ Kallista’s whiskers rippled as her lips drew back over her teeth, showing their mutual disgust of this arrangement. 

She was going to cripple Sarah for this. She was going to torture her until every single scrap of her flesh was bruised and bleeding and then she'd tear her limb from limb. There were no words for the pain she would inflict upon her. 

This room had no windows. Rachel craved the sights of the city, a view, anything. She needed to see outside like she needed air. After a childhood locked in a windowless room and an adolescence spent in boarding schools and board meetings alike, knowing there was a world outside the one she was trapped in was the one thing she could not live without. 

Rachel lifted her arm from Kallista’s brow, gesturing towards the door and stammering, “Out...side?” 

Nealon dropped his gaze, “Sadly, the Rachel Duncan that Topside knew has passed,” he paused, glancing at her face, adding, “Plane crash.” 

Her lips moving soundlessly, Rachel’s face showed not one jot of the fury that boiled within her at the news. Kallista only pushed her head against Rachel's belly comfortingly, but all the while her thick tail was lashing back and forth agitatedly over the floor. 

This stank of Delphine's revenge. _I’m you now,_ she had said, _and I will erase you completely, Rachel._

Rachel’s hand had dropped back to her lap, and Kallista gently touched her pink nose to the back of it. 

“D- Delphine?” Rachel demanded, and received an affirming nod. 

“Um, I-” Rachel drew her hand across her neck unintentionally, “...finished?” 

Had Delphine taken over Topside? How could a monitor rise to that position in such a short time? 

Nealon gave her a wry smile and turned his attention back to his flash cards, “Let's focus on your recovery. You're more valuable than you know.” 

As her eyes found his, Nealon held up another card, the silhouette printed on it looking more like a tattoo than anything else. Kallista noticed the lizard-dæmon raise her head interestedly and let her teeth scrape across the back of Rachel's hand in warning. 

Rachel glanced at the card, recognition flashing in her mind. She met Nealon’s gaze and blankly said, “Horses,” as if Castor held no significance to her. 

Turning the card so it faced him, Nealon inhaled, as if considering it for a moment, then smiled in approval.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos and comments make my day and support is heartily welcomed and appreciated. let me know what you think!


	3. despair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> set in s3 ep6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  **DÆMON FORMS**
> 
> felix's dæmon is a female cedar waxwing, shown [here](https://sarahshelena.tumblr.com/tagged/cedar-waxwing)
> 
> * * *
> 
> scott's dæmon is the beautiful denise, his cat in the show. the lovely MaryAnnett gave me this idea (her idea) and I think it's great :) 
> 
> normally I wouldn't cast someone's pet as their dæmon, but as denise is far more timid and quiet than most cats I thought she'd suit him well — she is shown [here](https://sarahshelena.tumblr.com/tagged/denise) because who wouldn't want to look at this gorgeous girl

  
_“You are a little soul carrying about a corpse, as Epictetus used to say.”_

—Marcus Aurelius

* * *

Blending purple and blue together, Rachel ignored the aide who made the bed and took out the dirtied linens and other unmentionables. Kallista sat beside Rachel, heavy head in her lap, purring contentedly as the aide left the room, wheeling the trolley out before her.

The door creaked opened again just as she'd left, “Okay, quick!” 

Rachel turned her chair and peered over her shoulder quizzically. What she expected and what she saw were two very different things. 

Felix stood in the room, his waxwing-dæmon perched on his shoulder. 

She hadn't seen him since she drugged him in the children's hospital. 

“Hello, Rachel.” Felix deadpanned. Cosima’s mousy little lab partner hovered by the door, his cat-dæmon winding herself anxiously around his ankles. 

Kallista snarled a warning, stepping in front of Rachel protectively. 

Rachel had been uncertain at first, and now she was unnerved. Nobody else had access to her except Nealon, at least nobody else should. Indignance rose up within her, coupled with fear. 

“Ff-ff,” Rachel tried to find his name but it skipped over her tongue and left her, “Fff-” 

Felix crossed the room, remarking, “Yeah, ‘fff’ you, too.” He stepped around Kallista as if she were a kitten and took the paintbrush out of Rachel’s hand, which was shaking, “You know, it's funny, your hand was a lot steadier when you were jamming that needle into my neck, wasn't it?” 

Rachel shifted the controls and reversed her chair, but Felix yanked it back, “No, no, no, let's stay here, shall we?” 

He was now face-to-face with her, and Rachel met his gaze defiantly, tapping the sleeve of his white coat pointedly, “You're not allow-” 

“Allowed,” he said mockingly just as she forced the word out, “Yeah. But do you know what? If you tell anyone about it, I'm gonna come back and I'm gonna harass you every day.” His dæmon chirped shrilly on his shoulder. 

Rachel turned her face away in disgust. 

“I want you to tell me what you know about Castor.” 

She jerked her head back to look at him, echoing, “Castor…” and hummed, trying to find the words, “R- R- Rumors.” 

Felix rapped her sharply on the head with the paintbrush, “No. No, no, no!” He emphasised every 'no' with a tap on the head, and she stammered, hearing Kallista’s rumbling growl. Behind Felix, Scott’s dæmon let out a plaintive _mew_. 

_“Not_ rumors, they're _very_ real. And they've taken Sarah, so I need you to tell me where they took my sister.” 

Rachel had been casting her eyes around for an escape, but upon hearing this she couldn't help a soft laugh escaping her. 

Felix drew back and looked at her testily, “Is that funny to you?” 

Evidently her smirk wasn't enough to convince him of this. 

“Well, let’s see what we can do about that, shall we?” 

He reached over to the paints and dipped the brush into the blue, grabbing her face and _painting_ over the gauze eyepatch. 

_“Stop!”_ she demanded, writhing in the chair. Kallista was snarling at her side and swiping at him, but there was nothing she could do. The taboo prevented her from so much as touching him and Felix’s waxwing dæmon fluttered over his head in visible distress. 

“Rachel’s gonna get a bit of a makeover, ain't she?” 

Rachel hissed, “Stop!” 

The probing paintbrush pressed the gauze against the raw gaping hole of her eye socket; the pain was unimaginable. 

“Stop!” she cried, hitting him. 

“Yes!” he turned her head to face him, “Do you want to see how pretty you look?” 

The flash of a mirror in her face; a splash of blue in a crude caricature of an eye over the one she had lost. 

“Aren't you beautiful?” he said softly, mockingly, putting the mirror down, “Tell me what you know.” 

“Scott,” she screamed, “Get Doctor Nealon!” 

Felix’s hands clutched roughly at her face and he wrenched her chin to bring her eye to eye with him, shouting “No one is coming for you, do you understand? Because no one cares!” 

Rachel hissed the words through her teeth, spitting out the syllables, trembling with rage and shame, “I'm not going to help you if you humiliate me.” 

“Humiliate you? I haven't even gotten started! Why don't we go for a spin, shall we?” 

The next few moments were a terrifying blur of sounds and colors, Felix screaming into her face with his hand around her neck, demanding answers she didn't have. 

She said the only thing she could, and found herself begging for the only thing she wanted, “Get me out of this… place.” 

Suddenly ashamed, Felix let go of her and backed away, his dæmon fluttering to his shoulder. Scott fumbled around on the floor with her watercolor paintings before placing them on the table. His dæmon, a timid long-haired cat with white and brown markings and deep soulful eyes looked pityingly at Kallista, who opened her mouth and hissed, turning and climbing up into Rachel’s lap; even in her massive form, she had to comfort her woman and let her know that she was loved. Even if only by one creature in all the world. 

The tears burned their way out of her eyes, some trailing down her cheeks, the others pooling in her empty eye socket and stinging the raw flesh. 

She wiped away those on her cheeks and let the others drown her from the inside. She picked up her paintbrush and traced it across the paper, weeping, Felix’s words bouncing around in her skull. 

_No one is coming for you, do you understand? Because no one cares!_

Rachel sobbed, Kallista’s head tucked up under her chin, purring to calm her, both of them in unimaginable emotional pain and finding solace in each other. Tears soaked into the cougar-dæmon’s fur, but she only nestled closer to Rachel’s chest and whispered to her, “It's all right, it's all right, it's all right.” 

But it wasn't all right. 

Nothing about their situation was all right. 

And they both knew it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> set in s3 ep7

“Good morning, Rachel. How are you feeling?”

Rachel lifted her head from the cushioned headrest of the wheelchair, “Doctor Nealon,” she acknowledged him, “What are you doing here?” 

Nealon smiled, looking down at her chart, “You'll be having a check up today. Protein testing. Blood pressure results, urinalysis. I just came to drop these off,” he gestured to the small stack of books he'd placed on her bed, “I know you wanted access to your private home library, but this really is the best I can do for now.” 

“Thank you. Won't-” Rachel swallowed to give her mind time to catch up, “Won't you be per-performing-” 

“The tests? No, Doctor Cormier has requested the pleasure of that herself.” 

Kallista rose from the floor, a deep growl rumbling in her throat. 

Rachel placed her hand on her dæmon’s head calmingly, “Is there any particular reason for this?” 

“I really couldn't say,” Nealon shrugged dismissively, jostling his lizard dæmon on his shoulder and making her open her mouth angrily in protest. 

“When- when will she be here?” Rachel asked. 

“Within the next hour, I should expect.” Nealon placed the clipboard back at the foot of the bed, “I'm sure you two have a lot to catch up on.” 

Nealon smiled knowingly; disgusted, Kallista’s lips drew back over her teeth threateningly. Rachel could only glower at him furiously, turning away when she couldn't look at his hideous face any longer. 

* * *

The former monitor pushed open the door forty minutes later, “Rachel. How are you feeling?” Delphine didn't even look at her, eyes fixed on the iPad she held, “I’m just going to take your, erm, blood pressure. So if you could pull your sleeve up, please.”

Rachel did nothing, she only stared, despising her. 

Delphine finally turned back and took hold of Rachel's wrist, still barely even acknowledging her, and tugged at the sleeve of the navy silk dressing gown. Her cool fingers wrapping the pressure cuff around Rachel’s upper arm made her skin prickle; the metal of the stethoscope was chilling against her flesh and she jolted, but allowed Delphine to perform the test, clenching her teeth when the constriction of the cuff made her arm burn and tingle horribly. Kallista, sitting closely by Rachel, gritted her teeth, feeling it too. 

When the pressure finally lessened, Rachel let out a breath and shifted away, hyperaware of Delphine so close to her. The drastic change in what had once been between them was now crackling tension; Rachel now felt the skin under her lost eye twitch whenever Delphine was nearby. 

Kallista placed one heavy paw on Rachel’s foot, the most subtle way to let her woman know she was protected. But still they both felt sick with anxiety, not knowing what could happen next. 

Cheiron was sitting behind Delphine on the bed, calmly cleaning his black paws, completely at ease. It was all too clear who was in charge of the situation, and it certainly wasn't Rachel. 

“Your heart rate is very elevated. Are you feeling all right?” Delphine took the cuff off Rachel’s arm, “Have you been feeling any undue stress?” 

“No, of c- _course not,”_ Rachel said sarcastically, the bite of her words failing when she stammered. 

“Now, I'll need your dæmon to step up on the scales, these ones here.” Delphine gestured to a large polished steel plate that sat in the corner of the room, hooked up to a small computer screen, which was, for the moment, blank. 

Kallista licked Rachel's hand once, the rasp of her tongue reassuring, and padded over to the scales, stepping up onto them gingerly and sitting down as the device calibrated whatever data it measured. Rachel wasn't sure what it recorded apart from Kallista's weight, and didn't like the not knowing. 

“I need to measure your pupillary responses,” Delphine repositioned Rachel’s wheelchair in front of her and sat forward, drawing a penlight from her lab coat pocket, “Stay still and keep looking straight ahead.” 

Rachel tuned out what Delphine was saying, merely gazing in the opposite direction of the light. 

A sharp slap to her cheek startled her into alertness. 

“Rachel?” Delphine looked into her face. A sudden hiss of rage answered her from across the room; Kallista stepped off the scale, her face drawn into a furious snarl, teeth bared and mouth gaping open as she stalked towards them. Cheiron met her halfway, his own mouth open, answering her cries of fury with high-pitched shrieks of defiance, drowning her out. This only made her angrier. 

A sneer twisting her features, Rachel lifted her own arm and struck Delphine an answering blow, a vicious backhanded crack across the face, using as much force as she possibly could, and the resulting slap almost sent Delphine to the floor. The former monitor’s head snapped sharply to the side, a dark red mark staining her cheek. 

“You _bitch_ ,” Rachel spat, “I send you away ff- from all this and- and _this_ is how you treat me?” 

Delphine turned back to Rachel, staring at her indignantly, then answered, “It is no more than you deserve. You took me away from Cosima-” 

“You came wil- willingly,” Rachel said scathingly, “That hippie’s days are numbered. I forced you into nothing.” 

Delphine's voice shook passionately, and she threw back, “You made me care for you-” 

Rachel scoffed, “I did no such thing. You saw was you wanted to see in me.” 

“Our first night together?” Delphine demanded, leaning closer, “When you asked me to come back, what-” she paused, breathing heavily, “What the hell was that, why would you ask me to do it, when you did not wish for me to return?” 

“I wanted you to return so I c- could _fuck_ you again,” Rachel rolled her eyes, enjoying this kind of conversation. She felt almost like herself again, “Leave it to a… a Frenchwoman to see such a request as- as a confession of _love_ ” she laughed cruelly. 

Delphine looked more wounded by Rachel’s words than from the blow from her hand. But still, there was that unfamiliar promise of violence still glimmering in her eyes. 

Not for the first time, Rachel wondered what on earth could Delphine have done or had happen to her in Germany for her to come back so changed. So cold. So hard. 

Or had she always been this way? Cruelty lying just below the surface of her freckles and her doe-like eyes? 

Delphine’s hand flashed out and grasped Rachel’s face roughly, in much the same way that Felix had. Rachel flinched away, the left side of her face still tender, fearing another cruel punishment. 

For a moment it looked as if Delphine would speak, spitting words into Rachel’s face with the all-encompassing hatred that had taken hold of her. 

But Delphine sighed and released Rachel, murmuring quietly to her dæmon in French, and he stepped away from Kallista, who immediately leapt over him to get to Rachel. 

“Just come with me,” Delphine gestured angrily, “We’re going to the lab.” 

Rachel managed to not roll her eyes in irritation. She wanted to get out of here. She'd suffered enough medical tests to last a lifetime. But she gritted her teeth and moved the wheelchair forward, following Delphine out of the door. 

Anything was better than being trapped in that room. 

* * *

After following Delphine and her fox-dæmon’s grey-and-gold tail through the halls of Dyad, the scientist stopped at a large door, waved her card key over the sensor panel and pushed the door open.

“I need the lab,” she announced, her meaning plain and clear: get out. 

Two young men meekly left the room, staring curiously at Rachel as they passed her. She didn't look at them. 

“It's Rachel's turn for protein testing,” Delphine told someone as the wheelchair entered the room, “Blood, urinalysis.” 

Rachel halted the wheelchair and stared accusingly, “Hello, Scott,” she deadpanned. 

He offered an awkward, panicky half-wave, his timid cat-dæmon hiding behind his legs. 

Rachel glanced around the room but did a double-take when she spotted one of her paintings draped over a table. Scott turned his head to see what had caught her attention and met her gaze with an expression she'd never seen on his face before; intrigue. 

He side-stepped to the table and lifted something from underneath the painting: a book. _The Island of Dr Moreau_

Her father's book. 

Rachel's lips parted in shock, and Kallista stood abruptly from where she had been leaning against the wheelchair, letting out a hoarse, squeaky yowl. 

Delphine looked up in alarm, “What?” 

Rachel pointed, stammering, “A-a-gri-cola.” 

“What is it?” Delphine glanced around at Scott, who shrugged in a dorky, sheepish way, “Uh, board game. Medieval farm building.” 

Delphine chuckled dismissively, but Rachel held Scott’s gaze and commanded, “T-teach.” 

Delphine raised her eyebrows, “Medieval farm building?” she drawled in disbelief. 

“I'm so… bored.” 

“Well…” Delphine rolled her eyes before turning to Scott, “You want to?” 

To Rachel’s surprise, Scott kept his face smoothly unassuming, and seemed as if he were humoring them when he agreed, “Sure, I mean, yeah. Maybe start without the expansions.” 

“Alright, well, you can do that after. Now, we need a blood sample,” Delphine said breezily, holding out her hand and reaching for a tourniquet with the other. 

Hardly believing she was trusting her safety to this harpy, Rachel placed her arm in Delphine’s hand and made a fist; partly to press her veins up against her skin, but also because she wanted nothing more than to jam the syringe into Delphine’s own eye, and the pull of tendons in her wrist was oddly calming. 

Rachel bit her lip savagely when the needle slid in; Delphine was better than most at taking blood. The needle stung, but she didn't shift and rummage around in Rachel’s arm to find the vein. It was almost effortless. 

Delphine loosened the tourniquet and silently filled two vacuum-sealed vials one by one with thick red blood. Rachel turned her head and watched them when Delphine placed them on the tray — the blood shifted around in the vials as they rocked and settled on the flat surface. 

Delphine turned away to label and bag them, her fox-dæmon watching them while her back was to them. 

“Is that it?” Rachel asked, the proximity to others already setting her teeth on edge. 

“Almost,” Delphine placed a plastic twist-seal sample cup on the desktop, “We’ll need a urine sample. After that, you can play with your farms.” 

Rachel clenched her teeth, hissing, “Fine.” 

“Do you need any assistance?” 

She could have sworn she heard amusement in those words. Was there no end to this humiliation? 

“You sss-so much as t-touch me, and they'll never find your… body,” she snarled, backing up the wheelchair and trying not to think about how laughably hollow her words sounded in her current state. 

* * *

“Okay, you are a medieval farmer,” Scott was piling baggies of plastic toys onto the table, “Each turn, you get two choices to build your farm, one for you and one for your spouse. You can build fences, plant crops, have children…”

Trying to concentrate on what she was reading, Rachel had been gritting her teeth for the past three minutes, couldn't stand his chattering any longer, and interrupted him, “Not seriously,” she told him, each word dripping with disdain. 

He turned to look at her, “Oh, yes. This is how we do it, Rachel. Anybody comes in, we’re farm-building.” He grinned, “Now, there are fourteen game rounds and six stages, with a harvest at the end of each stage…” 

Rachel took a deep breath and reminded herself that killing him would get her absolutely nowhere, except back in her room and under armed guard. 

Kallista batted at the table legs in frustration. 

* * *

Her head was so full of the ridiculous game that she couldn't stand it any more. Even Scott's dæmon had begun batting the game pieces around the board in disinterest.

Rachel brought up what had been weighing on her mind, “You have my…” 

“Book?” 

“...book.” she finished, enraged at the ease he said it with. 

“No.” 

“My-my-my father,” Rachel punctuated each word by pointing to herself, “Our. Secret. Language.” 

“He didn't leave it for you, though… did he?” 

“Wh- who, then?” Rachel's hand dropped to Kallista’s brow. 

“He gave it to Kira,” Scott told her, “Can you read it?” 

“Sh- show.” Rachel commanded, pushing the board game away. 

Scott looked at her intently for a moment, then stood to get something from his bag. He sat back down with a sheaf of papers and placed a photocopied view of the first two pages of Dr Moreau in front of her. 

“Show me,” he took a sharpened pencil out of his coat pocket and held it up for her to take. She didn't miss the meaningful glance that came with it. He'd had a hand in her accident, and she knew it as soon as he placed the pencil in her grip. 

When she placed the graphite against the paper, it all came flooding back. She traced the pencil in loops, lines and swirls that meant nothing to anybody but her. She found herself truly smiling for the first time in weeks as the last symbols joined. 

“What does it say?” Scott turned his head, trying to decrypt the message. 

Rachel felt, for the first time in awhile, that she finally had the upper hand, and as Kallista purred deeply in a self-satisfied way, Rachel smiled. 

“I'll only tell Sarah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! I love comments, they do such wonders for my mental health, you have no idea.

**Author's Note:**

> any and all feedback is appreciated. kudos are lovely but a comment really makes my day and helps me write. 
> 
> thanks for reading 
> 
> come see me at my [fanfic blog](https://sarahshelena.tumblr.com) and send me prompts and shite :)
> 
> I will have the next chapter up just as soon as I finish it. it takes more than imagination to write a chapter of a fic in this AU and for this fandom. I have to rewatch episodes and record every line, every subtle twitch and movement to get everything absolutely right. then, if I haven't already, I have to look up animal forms for dæmons and research names for them which is time-consuming. I have made a lot of progress with dæmon forms for most of the characters, but please be patient
> 
> and also, let me know what you think! I thrive on comments and appreciate your support.


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